Mark Brine

Lyrics

Written by Mark Brine

1. Stinky ‘n Pete were buddies
I mean, just as true as true pals could be
Whenever the Scouts of Troop 60 went anywhere
They’d cling together inseparably

2. Now, Stinky wasn’t nicknamed that ‘cause he smelled bad
No, it had to do with the nature of his ways
In short, it was short for the very descript word “Stinker”
Forever getting in trouble and going astray

3. And Pete, well he was the littlest of them two
A follower to the extreme of the term
No matter how many fixes Stinky’d get him in
Dumb little Pete’d just never learn

4. Sort of like little Laurel & Hardy’s
A comical twosome, for sure
Never knew just what they’d get into next
But, for certain, it’d always be worse than before

5. Now, of all the many messes they happ’d on this one
In particular concerns a Girl Scout Campsite
That was located directly opposite and across from the lake
From Pete ‘n Stinky, ‘n the 60’s troopsite

6. Now, Stinky, as expected, got this wild idea
‘bout sneaking over there in the evening’s dark cold
To spy on the young ladies ’n for whatever good fortune
Their curious, little eyes might behold

7. ‘n Pete, sure enough, agreed to go along
Despite the big chance they were taking
And, when, at last, they took off, in the pitch-black of night
He could feel his pencil-thin legs, just a shaking

8. So, off through the forest, and down mosquito-filled paths
They ran, getting eaten alive
‘til some miles later, they came upon the out-skirts
And to the designated spot where they’d hide

9. Yeah, where they’d stay and wait-out the girls, they were sure
Would appear, to be taking their nightly showers
Then, swearing a pact, that neither’d chicken-out on the other
They settled in for the whatever hours

10. Then, giggle, giggle, it came... the sound of the girls voices
Coming from the near distance approaching
‘n Pete, well he got so excited, he nearly wet his pants
‘n Stinky gulped so hard, he started to choking

11. Never considering up to then, the bathhouse wall, they started
To climb the nearest tree they could find
In a blinded, excited mania, they shimmy’d like crazy
With only the one thing they had on their minds

12. Now, you talk about BARE... Let me tell you ‘bout the BEAR
That those four devilish eyes came to see
Yeah, bear as can be clinging up on that tree Was a
Grizzly like you ain’t NEVER seen!

13. Well, down they came, almost sliding all the way
With splinters ‘a many to show
And off they took, like two of them Little Rascals
On that movie series from long ago

14. While, all the while, right there behind them
Ole Griz kept his steadfast third place
And seemed to be gaining, every time they’d glance back
With those terrified looks on their faces

15. Then, as fate would have it, those two fools got lucky
And spied an abandoned cabin, up ahead
So, inside they dashed and latching the door
Petrified Pete said, grabbing his head

16. “HOLY MACK’REL, STINKY WHAT’A WE GONNA DO?
DID YOU SEE THE SIZE’A HIM?
I KNEW I NEVER SHOULD’VE LISTENED TO YOU
WHAT ANOTHER FINE MESS YOU GOT US INTO!”

17. “OH, SHUT UP, YOU SILLY, LITTLE NINCOMPOOP
‘N MAYBE HE’LL GO AWAY!
IF YOU COULD JUST CONTAIN YOUR BLOOMIN’ BIG-MOUTH
HE’LL THINK WE’RE GONE ‘N MAYBE HE WON’T STAY!”

18. Well, that ole Grizzly did get tired of waiting
And lucky enough for those Three Stooges, minus one
The dark shadow of doom, it passed with the moon
And found safety in the early morning sun

19. Well, besides being sentenced to K.P. for the last month,
They were there... they got stuck with Latrine Duty too!
And so ends this episode of Pete ‘n Stinky and one of
The many predicaments they got into

20. And you can rest-assured, that in this account you’ve just heard
They’re the BARE FACTS right down to the tee
Only, the names have been changed to protect the author
And ole Stinky ‘n his accomplice-in-crime, little Petey

Yeah, ole Stinky ‘n his good, little buddy… little Petey (2x)

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